Habits shape much of what we do each day. From brushing our teeth in the morning to checking our phones at night, many behaviours happen almost automatically.
I often speak with people who feel frustrated when they try to change a habit and find it harder than expected. Understanding how habits work can make that process feel more manageable. When we know why behaviours repeat, we can start to change them in more practical and realistic ways.
Habits are repeated behaviours that become automatic over time. When we do something often enough, it becomes part of our routine and requires very little conscious effort.
Many everyday actions fall into this category. Making a morning coffee, checking messages, or brushing your teeth before bed are all examples of behaviours that can become habitual. Once they are established, we often perform them without actively deciding to.
Habits are usually triggered by cues in our environment. A cue signals to the brain that it is time to perform a certain behaviour. This cue might be a time of day, a place, a feeling, or another activity.
Habits also tend to stick because they provide some kind of reward. Sometimes the reward is obvious, but often it is quite small. Scrolling on your phone might relieve boredom for a moment. Avoiding a difficult task might reduce stress temporarily. Even small rewards can reinforce a behaviour and encourage the brain to repeat it.
Habits are learned behaviours. When something is repeated and rewarded over time, the brain remembers the outcome and encourages us to repeat the behaviour again.
Over time, habits become automatic. Once a behaviour runs on autopilot, it requires very little awareness to perform. This is one reason why relying on motivation or willpower alone rarely leads to lasting change.
I often remind people that knowing what to do is not the same as doing it. Many of us understand what might benefit our health or wellbeing, but turning that knowledge into consistent action can be challenging.
Some habits are also linked to emotional or physical relief. Certain behaviours help reduce stress, manage uncomfortable emotions, or ease physical discomfort. Because the brain is seeking quick relief, these habits can become particularly strong.
Habits also provide predictability. The brain prefers familiar patterns because they create a sense of certainty and control. Changing a habit can feel uncomfortable at first because it disrupts that routine.
Many habits follow a simple pattern often called the habit loop.
The loop involves three parts:
Over time, this cycle repeats and the behaviour becomes automatic.
For example, feeling tired after work might trigger sitting down and scrolling on your phone. The reward may be relaxation or distraction. Because the brain remembers the reward, the behaviour is more likely to happen again.
Changing habits often involves interrupting or adjusting part of this loop.
Another way to understand habits is through two systems that influence behaviour: the automatic system and the reflective system.
The automatic system is fast and effortless. It drives many everyday behaviours and relies on cues, emotions, and bodily sensations.
The reflective system is slower and more deliberate. It involves planning, reasoning, and thinking about long term goals.
Both systems are important. The automatic system helps us move through daily routines efficiently, while the reflective system helps us make thoughtful decisions.
However, when we are stressed, tired, or overwhelmed, the automatic system tends to take over. In those moments, habits that provide quick comfort often win over our intentions.
When people try to change habits, they often focus on motivation. While motivation can help, it is usually more effective to begin by adjusting behaviours and environment.
Small changes to your surroundings can make helpful behaviours easier to follow through on. At the same time, making less helpful habits slightly less convenient can naturally reduce how often they occur.
For example:
Your Goal: To start morning exercise
Your Goal: Remembering to take your medication
Your Goal: Reducing your screen time
Small adjustments like these help create an environment that supports the behaviour you want to build.
Another challenge with habit change is that the benefits are often delayed.
New behaviours may feel uncomfortable at first, and the rewards are not always immediate. Improvements such as better sleep, increased energy, or improved health usually develop gradually.
Because of this, making progress visible can help. Tracking habits or noting small wins along the way can reinforce the new behaviour and maintain momentum.
A simple strategy that can support behaviour change is the If Then approach.
Instead of saying “I should” or “I’ll try to,” the idea is to plan a specific response to a cue.
For example:
“If it is 10pm, then I will place my phone in the kitchen to charge.”
“If I finish dinner, then I will go for a short walk.”
By deciding in advance how to respond, the behaviour becomes clearer and easier to follow through on, especially during times of stress or low energy.
Habits can also be easier to change when they are connected to something meaningful.
Values give us direction and help explain why a behaviour matters. When a habit aligns with what is important to us, it can increase persistence and motivation over time.
For example, instead of focusing on “I need to stop using my phone at night,” the goal might become spending more quality time with a partner or prioritising rest and recovery.
Linking behaviours to personal values can help maintain motivation when the process feels challenging.
Setbacks are a normal part of habit change.
When we are stressed, tired, or overwhelmed, it is easy to fall back into familiar patterns. This does not mean change has failed. Habits form through repetition over time, and changing them also takes repetition.
Instead of seeing a lapse as failure, it can help to approach it with curiosity. Ask what triggered the behaviour and what small adjustment might make things easier next time.
Habit change is rarely about perfection. It is about gradually building new patterns.
Changing habits can feel slow at first, especially when the rewards take time to appear. But small adjustments, repeated consistently, can lead to meaningful change.
Understanding how habits work helps us approach behaviour change with more patience and less self criticism. Rather than relying only on motivation, we can shape our environment, plan ahead for challenging moments, and connect behaviours to what matters most to us. Over time, these small shifts can help new behaviours become part of everyday life.